How to Better Manage the Family Schedule For a Happier 2016

I’ve set some goals for this year, and I’m already worried that I won’t achieve them. (That seems a bit neurotic for this early in the year, doesn’t it?) Part of the problem is that I’m not a natural goal setter, so setting and achieving goals in an organized, intentional way is not my strength. But an even bigger part of the problem is this -- I feel like I’m just too busy to do the things I need to do in order to meet those goals.

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Just too darn busy. And I’m pretty sure you feel that way too. Whether you’ve set specific goals for this year or not, you know what you want to accomplish -- and you probably don’t think you have time to do it.

But the truth is, I think we both have time to do the things we really want to do, the things that are most important to us. No, we probably don’t have time to do all of them. But some of them -- yes, we really and truly do. The question is, will we organize our lives this year in a way that enables us to make them happen? Or will we be kicking ourselves in December, wishing we had handled the year differently? (That’s what happened to me this past December!)

I don’t want to be kicking myself next December, and I’m pretty sure you don’t either. So then the question is: What can we do differently this year, in order to free up time and energy to do the things that are most important to us? There are lots of answers to that question, but if you’re a busy wife and mom there’s one answer that matters more than all the others -- manage your family’s schedule. More than anything else you can do this year, managing your family’s schedule -- rather than letting it manage you -- can make or break your year.

What does it mean to manage your family’s schedule? It means being purposeful and intentional about the things you allow your children and yourself to do. It means working with your spouse to decide on priorities for your family for the year. It means deciding which activities your children will participate in, based on their interests and your family’s time, energy and money, rather than signing them up for anything and everything.

It means choosing which activities you will participate in this year, and which ones you need to let go. And it means learning to say "no" or "not now," to your children and to people who want you to do things that aren't a priority right.

Listen, I know this is hard. We want our children to play every sport and do every activity that interests them. We want to be involved in our children’s schools, our churches or synagogues, and our communities. We want to attend social and cultural events. We want to do things for our family and friends that make them happy.

But ... we also want to work on our goals and dreams. We want to be intentional about the things that are most important to us. Maybe for you that means making time to enjoy your marriage, starting a business, losing weight, or taking care of your health. For me it means building my blog and writing a book, in order to connect with more married women who want to enjoy calmer, healthier and sexier lives.

But neither of us can achieve those goals unless we first manage our family’s schedule.

If you want to do the one thing that can make or break your year, in terms of working on the things that are most important to you and your family, here are five steps to take this week to better manage your family’s schedule:

• Talk with your spouse. If you're married, this is something the two of you need to work on together, so take the time to sit down and talk about it. Tell him what you’re thinking, and really listen to what he’s thinking. It may take more than one conversation. If he’s anything like my husband, he’ll be happy to have this conversation.
• Make a list of the things everyone in the family is doing. Write it all down – sports, scouts, lessons, clubs, community activities, volunteer work and anything else that requires an investment of your family’s time and energy. Share the list with your spouse, and talk about it. Consider which activities you may need to let go or postpone in order to free up time and energy to work on things that are more important.
• Talk with your children. If your children are old enough to understand, include them in the conversation and talk about what it means to better manage your family’s schedule. You may be surprised by what they say. Parents often assume that their children want to participate in lots of activities, but some children feel stressed by a busy schedule. Even if your children don’t, they may appreciate having more relaxed family time and “down time.” But even if they love an activity-packed schedule, you need to decide what’s best for your family.
• Make a change. Decide on one or two changes that will free up some of your time and energy and put them in place. Try them for a while and see how they work out. Recognize that it’s likely you’ll get some pushback -- from your children, other people or even yourself -- and plan to move forward anyway.
• Use the time and energy you saved wisely. Once you’ve freed up some time and energy, use it to move forward on one of your goals. Even if it’s only a small amount of time, put it to work for you. Spending an hour a week on a goal means that you’re an hour closer to achieving that goal. As you gradually take better control of your family’s schedule you can add to the time you spend working on your goals.

What are your goals for this year, and how are you finding the time and energy to achieve them? Please share your thoughts in the comments. I would love to hear from you.

Gaye Groover Christmus shares healthy ideas for your life and marriage at CalmHealthySexy.