An open letter to the 'loud' women who I wish I was more like

My friendship love affair with the so-called "brazen hussies" of the world began in kindergarten. My teacher assigned me a seat next to a pocket-sized blonde who looked like Tinker Bell but had the mouth of a pirate. While my plan was to pretend I didn't have a bladder that first week of school, she'd stand up in the middle of story time and announce to 23 5-year-olds that she had to pee.

Before our teacher gave her permission to go, she's be halfway out the door with a bathroom pass attached to a string dragging on the floor behind her. If the boys required a verbal ass-kicking, she could slay them in three words and win back the toys they stole from us. One day, while coloring pictures in our phonics books, I looked over and noticed Tinker Bell had taken a purple crayon to all of our perfectly nice, beige two-dimensional phonics people. After that, I made it my mission to become her best friend.

More: 16 Amazon reviews that are pure comic genius

Tink now lives in Massachusetts with her wife and three children, where she continues to defy stereotypes and pee whenever the hell she damn well pleases. The world needs Tink - and quiet introverts like me need bold, nervy and, yes, vocal women like Tink. You are the peanut butter to our chocolate. We're both delicious enough on our own, but put us together and we become the most mind-blowing of combinations.

Tink eventually moved from our neighborhood and changed schools. Over the years, we grew apart. But other Tink-types would replace her and it didn't take long for me to realize I mesh well with vocal women. While I refused to settle my gaze within 10 feet of my junior high school crush, my daring BFF was moseying up to hers every morning in the gymnasium and slipping him love letters. She couldn't have cared less whether he felt the same way about her.

The important thing was that she felt the love and she was going to make him know she was the best thing to ever walk in Doc Martens. I didn't understand how she could be so bold and she couldn't fathom why I'd waste precious time pining in secret and penning poetry about this boy when I could find out, that very afternoon, where I stand and simply move on if my love was unrequited.

More: Please don't judge that poor person using a fancy cellphone

Smart girl.

In the years that followed, other strong, but totally not silent types, would enter my universe and fill it with adventure and life lessons. People would always label me the "quiet one" and call my friends the "crazy ones" or the ones with "big mouths." Most couldn't understand why we chose each other at all. Each time I brought a new friend home and my mother heard that laugh - the uninhibited, throaty, gorgeous laugh all "wild" girls share - she would raise her eyebrows and tell me in private that they were going to get me in trouble. Their moms, on the other hand, loved me, which pissed off my friends to no end. "It's because you're quiet. She has no idea how you really are."

I sometimes wonder what my brazen friends got out of our friendship deal. Loyalty, maybe, and trust. The knowledge that whatever they confided in me was never repeated. I gave them a white room where they could paint their thoughts in bold, squiggly streaks of crimson and, when I contributed my own, they appeared in straight lines of China blue. Neither style nor shade is better than the other and we both purged in ways that were comforting to us, without judgment and without competing for the brighter color.

And I love them - their madness, their ability to live on 11 and shout "fuck you!" and throw their arms around someone without wondering if there will be a consequence.

But I can't help but feel they've given me so much more.

The co-worker-turned-friend who realized I admired her lax attitude toward casual sex and her amazing stories, but encouraged me to honor myself and not aim to be a person I'm not.

More: I was that secret shopper quietly judging everyone in the store

The friend who told me I'd be crazy not to wear that short red dress on my first date with my husband.

The friend who pointed me in the direction of therapy when she noticed I was running away from past issues. Being the "quiet one" isn't the same thing as being the "emotionally bottled-up quiet one" and she was honest enough with me to not allow me to become a shadow of myself.

The bold sister-in-law who wouldn't let me stoically suffer in silence in the hallway of a hospital when I was in labor - who told my doctor to get his F-ing act together.

Brazen, outgoing women, we love you, we need you, we honor you. Never change.

The View scored big-time with their new co-host Sara Haines

The View secured another official co-host today. Sara Haines is set to join Whoopi Goldberg, Candace Cameron Bure, Joy Behar, Raven-Symoné and Paula Faris for the 20th season of the show's run. Haines isn't as much of a household name as some of her other co-hosts, so we thought we'd take a second to introduce you to the newest member of the Hot Topics table.

She's sorta great at everything

Haines is an all-around talent. She was born in Iowa and moved to Massachusetts to attend Smith College. While she was there, she played basketball and volleyball for the school. She obviously didn't pursue a career in pro sports, but she still participates in triathlons regularly. The girl cares a lot about being active!

More: Raven-Symoné knows one thing for sure about hosting The View (VIDEO)

She's totally comfortable in front of the camera

Haines comes to The View from ABC News and Good Morning America. She started her career on The Today Show, playing around with Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb during their fourth hour. She was there for four years before she moved over to lifestyle reporting for ABC News and became a pop news anchor for Good Morning America. This morning show routine is second nature to her by now.

You've probably seen her on The View before

If she looks familiar to you, it's because Haines has actually been a guest host at the Hot Topics table more than 30 times. That experience may be her most valuable because the women of The View aren't known for backing down from their opinions. We have a feeling she won't have any problem getting her voice out there.

More: The View reportedly prohibits Whoopi Goldberg from leaving the show

She's a total dog person

Sara Haines dog

Sara Haines dog

Haines' Instagram is full of two things - her awesome times on set and her adorable Chihuahua puppy. She's not shy about how much she loves her dog and wants to take him everywhere she goes. For any dog lovers in the audience, this is a sign she can be trusted completely.

She's part of an adorable family

Sara Haines family

Sara Haines family

Haines lives in Brooklyn with her handsome husband, Max Shifrin, and her adorable baby son, Alec. Honestly, there might not be a cuter baby than Alec.

More: Candace Cameron Bure's new TV gig is going to cause a ton of controversy

She's always working

Back in 2014, Haines wrote an article for Cosmopolitan telling everyone how she managed to land her spot on Good Morning America, and this girl doesn't stop working. She talks about having total hustle and making sure not to waste a single opportunity.

She wrote, “The biggest thing I learned while I was a page is that you have to be a sponge and soak in everything because new things, people, lessons are all around you if you are open to letting them in. The problem many people have is that they are so busy worrying about what they are working toward, or the 'next' in their life, that they miss out on the 'right now.'” 

It sounds like The View picked an incredible co-host to add to the team. It'll be fun to watch her add her point of view to the show in the fall.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

Image: ABC

6 Ways to Help You Find Your Writing Groove

Writing is a compulsion, a necessity, for me. A voice, from somewhere deep within, keeps telling me that I need to write to be happy, to make sense of everything that goes on around me.

Basically, it tells me that to live I need to write. This nagging voice somehow perceives my innermost feelings, even desires. It knows too well that I love to write. And I must admit, the voice is right. I may not be a great writer, but writing gives me perspective, solace and helps me go on in life. So, write I must.

Image: Aaron Burden via Unsplash

But wanting to write and actually being able to write, on any given day, are entirely different things. Trust me, I know.

If juggling work and writing weren't hard enough before, it has become more so with an eight-month-old at home. Well, what can I say, a baby takes precedence over everything else! So, no matter how well I plan my day, words refuse to form when I finally get a chance to write.

Truth be told, most of my days are filled with activities carefully planned, one after the other. Everything needs to fit into a tight schedule, writing being no different. Of course, the problem with that is, you never know if you are actually going to be able to write at that given point in time. It just doesn't offer the cushion that spontaneity does. But you have got to work with what you got, don't you?

Going through a period of not being able to write spells discomfort for me; more so if the reasons are the lack of time or fatigue. Going too many days without being able to hit that publish button on my blog is never good for my sanity either.

Hence, with that in mind, here's what I do to enable myself to write even on the longest of days. Here's what I do to create an atmosphere to write within my crazy schedule. These are just simple things that I do to forget the fatigue, the mental block and basically just shut off the outside world to get lost in the written word.

Get my writing groove on, so to speak. These are things which help me concentrate and bring about spontaneity, even in a planned schedule.

Music

Everything is somehow better with music in the background. I always knew that music was therapeutic, but I've learned that writing is more enjoyable and spontaneous when done while listening. So, music is what I turn to for writing at the end of a long hard day.

Just like the body swaying to the melody while dancing, my pace slowly picks up, my fingers type almost in tune, my mind sways to the symphony and word after word start forming in front of my eyes. It is especially satisfying when the music is instrumental mixed with sounds of nature. I may be exhausted but somehow all that vanishes when my fingers type in sync with a song. Words and music really do form the perfect harmony!

Books

I have seen that every time I read a good book or even a good piece of writing somewhere, I'm filled with an eagerness to put pen to paper. A drive engulfs me, and then it's just a matter of typing the words. So, all you need is to spend some time on a good piece of writing -- books, blogs, newspaper articles, anything -- for the desire to create something compelling take over you. Once that happens, a good post is just a few keystrokes away.

Tranquility

To write is to listen to your innermost whispers. And the best way to listen to yourself is to be away from the noise that everyday life is full of. Of course, it is not possible to find this invigorating silence when you have a baby at home or when you are running from one task to the other at colliding speeds.

But look for it, you must. I find my quota of calm when everyone at home is asleep. I just go to my corner and give time to my thoughts. And most times, those few moments of peace and quiet are my stimulus to write. After that, it flows with the force of a mountain spring.

Meditation

If I can be honest with you, meditating is not really my cup of tea. Well, the day just doesn't have enough hours in it for me to make it a steady companion. But some days the office work gets too hectic or the little one gets too cranky, writing threatens to become a chore rather than an enjoyable activity.

It is during those trying moments that a few minutes of deep breathing to still my nerves comes to the rescue. If only I could include it in my daily schedule! Once you quieten the upheaval within you, writing goes back to being a joy.

Reading Old posts

One of the best ways to push yourself to write, and write better, too, is to go through your old posts. I often do this. You not only get the pleasure of seeing how you have grown as a writer, but you also sometimes realize how much your thinking has changed. It fills you with the zeal to create something new again. And voila, there you have a new blog post. All you need to do is translate those thoughts into words.

Community

There are times when none of the above work. None at all. That's when I turn to my blogging community which has been with me for the better part of my writing journey. Whenever I'm stuck or can't find time, this very community somehow helps in overcoming that deadlock.

A community which shares your love for writing is indispensable. While your family might know about your love for it, they might not necessarily understand it like a fellow writer.

So, these were some of the things I try to do or turn to when my writing needs rescuing. Or, when I need to warm up to write on a busy day. Tell me about you. What do you do?

PS: A version of this post was published on Write Tribe.